By Jan Randall

I always wanted to be a stay-at-home Mom. After I had my two kids, I figured that maybe I would become a preschool teacher, once they were both in elementary school. This is when I decided to go to night school to get my associate’s degree in early childhood education.

A year later in October of 1989, just after Andrew’s 4th birthday, he was diagnosed with Autism. Everything changed. While I was still taking one college class at a time, I also dove headfirst into Autism, learning anything and everything I could about Andrew’s diagnosis.

Back in the pre-internet days there wasn’t much information to be found. Autism was considered rare, and I longed to meet other parents who also had a child with Autism.

By the time Andrew was five someone had connected me with Barbara Domingue and everything changed again. Through her, I joined the Autism Society of Rhode Island and eventually the Northeast Regional Council on Autism. I started to meet other parents at Autism conferences. I was learning about the complexities of Autism and meeting other parents who understood the challenges, moments of fear, and the joys of new accomplishments. Even better I was making new friends. I loved being part of a community who understood.

In 1993, Barbara was given a grant to start Community Autism Resources. By then I had dropped out of school after having surgery from breaking my ankle and leg. By the spring of 1994 I’d recovered and I offered to volunteer once a week at the CAR office.

Back then there was Just Barbara, Pat Toomey, and me. We were in a small room with a phone and a note pad for recording names, phone numbers and why parents called. We had some file cabinets to store information copied from books, and articles from newsletters and research journals.

Most of the calls we received were from parents who were looking for information or to just someone to talk with. Almost no one knew where to start. I understood. We had been living with Andrew’s diagnosis for 4 years. I, too, was always searching to learn more to help him and our family. When a caller learned I also had a child with autism, it put them at ease, and we would have great conversations.

Andrew and Jan 1994

I thoroughly enjoyed being the person on the other end of the phone, talking, sharing and giving other parents helpful information. I was always excited volunteer. Each time I got to work I wondered would I get some calls today? Could I help someone? Every day was something new. Not only was I helping others, but I was helping our family too.

A few months after I started volunteering, Barbara told me CAR would be hiring. When she asked if I was interested in applying for a 15 hour a week position, I jumped at the chance and said yes.

I’ll never forget the day of the interview, and Barbara asking me, “Why do you want to work here?” I answered, “I truly believe this is my calling. This is what I was meant to do.” Little did I know how those words would lead me to today.

It’s been 32 years since I officially started working for CAR in September of 1994. On October 30th, I’ll be calling it a day, and retiring.

Being part of CAR has been more than a calling; it has been an adventure, an education, a lifeline, a family. I have met the most amazing fellow parents, some who helped me way more than I did them. I’ve had more conversations than I can count that were so difficult they broke my heart. I have had many others that were joy filled. There were also conversations that were hilarious, as other parents and I shared stories of crazy things our kids did and said. I have made more friends than I can count.

I have had the privilege of meeting and learning from some of the foremost Autism experts in the world. From meeting and becoming friends with Barry Prizant and Amy Laurent, to discussing medications with Temple Grandin, having dinner with Linda Hodgdon and a chance to go in depth with her about visual supports. I also had the opportunity to go to California to a weeklong biomedical conference. I even got to meet Sigourney Weaver! These are just a very few of the people I have been able to meet and the experiences I’ve had.

Most of all I will cherish the wonderful friendships with my fellow CAR co-workers, many of us parents. We lifted each other when life got hard, we helped and supported each other through challenges, we celebrated together, (we all like a good party) and cried together. We have even called in favors for one another when it seemed like we would never get the help we needed for our child. I cannot imagine that anyone has ever worked with a more caring, wonderful, and friendly group of people.

Now though, it is time for me to spend time taking care of me and enjoying life. I look forward to spending more time with my great niece Beatrix who is four and her twin brothers Charlie & Elliott who just turned two. They live upstairs and are the light of our lives. My husband Bob and I consider them our grandkids, a joy we never thought we’d never experience. Andrew is also going through a particularly challenging time with PANS. He needs my time, energy and focus more now than he has since he was a young teen.

L to R: Bea, Charlie & Elliott.

Andrew & Me a couple of summers ago

I am also so excited to feed my creative side by starting a new little adventure, a little gig called Curio Custom Gift Boxes. I am creating these for people looking for gifts that are unique, special, and individualized for their recipient. This started with CAR too, though making gift baskets for raffles! (Come some hi to me at the CAR Holiday Bazaar & Resource Fair on Nov 14th where I will have a table!!)

I offer my BIGGEST THANKS to everyone who I have met along the way, for allowing me to be a part of your lives, even if it was only for a few moments during a call. I also want to thank all of my co-workers, now and through the years who have been such an important part of my life.

Most of all, I want to thank Barbara Domingue for offering me a chance to be part of something as wonderful and amazing as CAR. From a one room office with only a phone and file cabinet, to an organization that continues to be on the cutting edge, it has been a wild and wonderful ride that I will cherish forever.